CS Lewis has a famous quote from The Four Loves that begins with “To love at all is to be vulnerable …” He says that if you want to protect yourself, you can’t love anything at all, not even a pet, especially not a parrot. We see the other person’s willingness to be vulnerable, and then we love. When the relationship is severed, it causes us to question who we are. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lewis, “To love is to be vulnerable.” Then they said something along the lines of “so true, this is why I can’t open up to you.” DON’T GIVE UP SO EASILY. This is one of my favorite quotes from C.S. It’s not just… Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. For Lewis, and for us, love means opening our hearts to pain and sorrow. If we only chose to love in situations free from vulnerability, we’d never love at all. Vulnerable Lyrics Meaning. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. For example, if we dare to love someone, we are vulnerable to the pain of being rejected. Learn more about working with Thought Catalog. To love at all is to be vulnerable. This is the official definition of being vulnerable. vulnerable meaning: 1. able to be easily physically, emotionally, or mentally hurt, influenced, or attacked: 2. able…. It’s a choice you make every day to decide to continue loving, to deal with all their little quirks and flaws, in the same way you would want yours to be overlooked. If love is worth the risk, as it always, always is, then we must choose to become vulnerable and allow Jesus to break open our wounds, exposing them to the possibility of rejection but also to the possibility of acceptance and conversion. I would wake up haunted by the thought that the man I loved so deeply would either die tragically or leave me for someone else. In The Path of Loneliness she writes, “To love means to open ourselves to suffering. Choose The One Who Can Love You The Way You Need, 10 Things I Learned About Love From Watching My Friends Get Their Hearts Broken, The Truth About Intimacy And HS, From Someone Who Has Had It For 23 Years, 18 Quotes About Vulnerability That Will Inspire You To Be Brave, What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable, To Say ‘Yes’ To Love Is To Say ‘Yes’ To Pain, This Is Why Strong Girls Are The Most Vulnerable In Love, A Quote That Will Completely Change The Way You Think About Love. Dedicated to your stories and ideas. I’ve had my heart broken many times, and i’m sure I still have a few more to go through before I find my “happy ever after”. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Let yourself feel everything with full intensity. Like many other expecting and new moms, I struggle with nagging fear that something tragic will happen to my babies. Please make sure all fields are filled out. A truly vulnerable person only seeks for love within, which already makes them a courageous, resilient person. To guard our hearts so that nothing can hurt us. When we numb feelings like fear, embarrassment and pain, we also numb excitement, hope, gratitude and happiness. And we are grateful. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. Vulnerability is regarded as a key ingredient in healthy, fulfilling relationships. Friends betray us. Being sexually vulnerable means choosing love, not choosing the other, but choosing love, and being willing to meet those inner barriers with love. This is because when we sense danger, we move away from it. Let’s learn the meaning behind the lyrics of the song ‘Vulnerable’ by Selena Gomez section-wise. Family members die and leave us. Nowhere do we see this more clearly than at Calvary. That’s always an option, but not the one I recommend. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. You can read more of her writing on her blog or follow her on Twitter. But a quick look around reminds us that something is tragically wrong. You have to be vulnerable because you’re choosing to be vulnerable. Jesus is not asking … Yet deep within our souls we know we weren’t created for such a lonely existence. All of this requires opening our souls to others, thus making us susceptible to relational pain. But love also begets vulnerability. You have to take responsibility for it. For all eternity Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have enjoyed perfect love and fellowship that we, by our nature as divine image bearers, crave as well. God didn’t fashion us void of feelings and emotions. While I had my fair share of dreams about my dress not fitting or forgetting to complete some vital detail, the one that haunted me was much darker. We naturally desire companionship, affection, fellowship. Yeah, this is why you’re known as an asshole. The Gospel Coalition supports the church by providing resources that are trusted and timely, winsome and wise, and centered on the gospel of Jesus Christ. You’ll reap the rewards. How do you show vulnerability without crossing over into needy territory? Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. Affiliate disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, we may earn commissions from qualifying purchases on Amazon.com. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Because they have opened up all the closed doors within themselves, and accepted that they are indeed worthy of self-love and love from others, they can offer it openly and genuinely to other people. we do not focus on who hurt us, whether in the past or the present or potentially in the future. To love someone in such a way, you have to take control of it. As I shared my fears with a dear friend who had been married longer than I had, she spoke these encouraging words: Every time you open your heart to love like you are now doing, you open your heart to more hurt and pain. “To love is to be vulnerable. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But who would live sealed in spiritual cellophane just to keep from ever being hurt? “To love at all is to be vulnerable. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Everything in life is uncertain, and the most uncertain and fallible thing is probably our feelings. Vulnerability can actually make you happier. To love another is a choice. Join David Tian on the “DTPHD Podcast” as we explore deep questions of meaning, success, truth, love, and the good life. And on my most frightened days, I’m reminded of those wise words from my friend—to love is to be vulnerable. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. What can Americans—especially followers of Jesus Christ—do in a time when it seems that our very republic is more fragile than ever before? “To love at all is to be vulnerable. One is that love makes us feel vulnerable, which then scares us. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. All to defend against feeling vulnerable. To give them the power to destroy you or rebuild you. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. Being vulnerable in a relationship means allowing your partner to know you fully: your thoughts, feelings, challenges, weaknesses. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Vulnerability means that you’re willing to jump headfirst into love. Trust is a big word. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Avoiding it in an effort to feel good doesn’t work. In The Four Loves he writes: There is no safe investment. We become vulnerable, and then we love. It can be scary to show those sides to … That’s just the way we live, the way we have been conditioned to feel and carry out our lives. While there’s no promise of cost-free love, we know the deeper purpose behind it all. But locking ourselves up and never facing another person won’t fix what’s really going on in our souls. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Learn about us. So also Christ loved through the darkest moments of the cross because he knew at the end he’d be glorified and his people would be redeemed. She is married to Daniel, has four sons, and together they belong to Immanuel Baptist Church in Little Rock, Arkansas. Vulnerability begets love. November 4, 2014 November 4, 2014. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. Make it your best one yet. “Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. But then again, what is a good ending? Here’s why you need to be vulnerable to fall in love: 1. For the First time in New Zealand! We often react by withdrawing into ourselves, or by withholding our loving behavior, or by trying to control our partner’s loving behavior. Don’t rely on anyone or anything to create it for you. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. Happily Ever After is for you to create, every single day of your life. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. You’re willing to give someone half your heart. You may unsubscribe at any time. But when it comes to actually being vulnerable in real life, many of us struggle to open up. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. When we allow ourselves to be completely open and vulnerable, we benefit, our relationships improve, and we may even become more attractive. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. Obviously we can strive to control our defensive reaction. The reason why some of us so much love children is that we feel an intrinsic comfort in the presence of authenticity. We were made to love and be loved. They posted a quote by C.S. It was a nightmare, really. The only alternative would be to live without love—to be alone forever. He knew the joy that awaited if he loved to the end (Heb. For over a decade, David Tian, Ph.D., has helped hundreds of thousands of people from over 87 countries find happiness, success, and fulfillment in their social, professional, and love … Children rebel against us. “To love at all is to be vulnerable. To love at all is to be vulnerable. It’s hard. When God created Adam, he declared it wasn’t good for him to be alone (Gen. 2:18). Elisabeth Elliot knew better than most what it meant to love and lose. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. The Countries Where It’s Most Dangerous to Be a Christian in 2021, The FAQs: What Christians Should Know About QAnon, The Fantasy Ideology of the American Insurrectionists, Damn the Curse of Ham: How Genesis 9 Got Twisted into Racist Propaganda. For once we love someone, they have the unique power to hurt us as nobody else can. There’s so much meaning behind it and it’s something I struggle with innately. If you’re going to be in a relationship, you might as well get used to speaking your mind and pouring out your soul to this person or else you should definitely stay single. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. But that’s the point. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Shall we shut our doors to love, then and ‘be safe’?” That’s the only alternative, really. Now, the danger your body senses is you becoming emotionally attached and developing feelings. (I may have added the last bit.) Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. Usually, right when we’re at the moment of being vulnerable, we bail. You just have to love other people where they are at. We are all constantly changing, sometimes in ways we can’t control, even if we wanted to. Be vulnerable. Lewis. A mother can love through the difficult months of pregnancy and the agonizing hours of labor because she knows at the end of the pain comes the baby she loves so deeply. Learn more. You have to take the risk and ultimately know that your happiness is dependent upon you and your mindset. In fact, Christians more than anyone else can love with reckless abandon since we know this isn’t all there is. Nowadays we are all concerned with the latest and greatest things we can get our hands on. CORONAVIRUS vaccine cheats are skipping the jab queue by using an IT loophole, an investigation has claimed. If my life were so richly blessed, there is an abundance of this kind of love and I would never have to feel vulnerable. I think it is safe to say that in this life we all experience heartbreak. Contrary to what many folks were raised to believe, vulnerability is a measure of strength and courage, not weakness. This isn’t a new concept. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. "Any love makes us vulnerable. Clem Onojeghuo. but we remember who were the ones who first loved us, and which ones of them still do. Lewis. Copyright © 2021 The Gospel Coalition, INC. All Rights Reserved. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. It comes in many forms and over many different things. That requires a tender or a vulnerable heart. “To love at all is to be vulnerable,” says C.S. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. The point is that I rarely allow myself to be vulnerable with other people. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. But, it can also be beautiful, exhilarating and the best thing you ever decide to do. How to be vulnerable with a man? Whatever we love will give the gift of pain somewhere along the road. The fear to be let down after being truly opened to another person In the months leading up to my wedding I had a recurring dream. This is why the pain of loneliness is often too much to bear. C. S. Lewis understood it well. He experienced the greatest pain imaginable—the death of his only Son—so that we could be made right with him. Lewis in the “The Four Loves”. And we dare to be vulnerable to love … Submit your writing to be published on Thought Catalog. It can be losing a loved one, a breakup, a major disappointment, or just sharing in someone else’s pain. “To love at all is to be vulnerable. When firmly rooted in its foundations, this is the kind of love that can last through the seasons. It’s scary, and at times it’s downright depressing. Anyone can give up. To be vulnerable (and then to be accepted and understood) is the seed of love. The definition of ‘vulnerable’ from the Cambridge dictionary is: ‘able to be easily physically, emotionally, or mentally hurt, influenced or attacked.. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. It is the result of loving Jesus. To last in love is to not give up. Vulnerability means you’re comfortable crying over the things that upset you instead of pushing away all of your emotions. Yet we do so anyway because deep within we know we were built for more than solitary existence. Letting ourselves feel happy is often a way to feel more vulnerable, not less. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. So happy or sad, vulnerability happens. 12:2). The only place outside of heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is hell. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. Links circulating on Whatsapp and … To love is to be vulnerable.” – C.S. To Love is to be Vulnerable. It takes no bravery or resilience at all. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. There, the God who is love became vulnerable for sinners like you and me. Feeling all … I think it speaks so clearly about what it means to love anyone or anything. Courtney Reissig is the author of Glory in the Ordinary: Why Your Work in the Home Matters to God, The Accidental Feminist: Restoring Our Delight in God’s Good Design, and Teach Me to Feel: Worshiping Through the Psalms in Every Season of Life (January 2020). Fast forward four years and I’m now the mother of twin boys. She is unsure of what other party’s intention might be … We can’t pretend as Christians that we’re immune to the ravages of sin, death, and sorrow any more than we can retreat from all things relational. Lewis, The Four Loves. Your heart is more vulnerable, but the love is worth it. It’s the only way to live. To keep going, and when something is working, take the time to fix it. Loving another does not ensure unending happiness. I regularly dreamed that something would happen to my fiancé. When Disciplining Kids Doesn’t Seem to Make a Difference. When we love Jesus, our love will flow out to others (1 John 4:20). Spouses disappoint us. The good news is that there's no better place to be sweetly 'held' in choosing love than The Making Love Retreat . To be created in God’s image means to desire fellowship. Sometimes it seems easier and more logical to just not love anyone at all. Christians can love with the same freedom. Anyone can leave. “To love at all is to be vulnerable. To love is to be vulnerable.” ― C.S. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. Instead, according to Brené Brown (2015), writer and vulnerability researcher, “vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.” It gives us hope, provides a sense of belonging, enables us to feel empathy, and provides meaning in our lives. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. That makes love hard. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. Our hearts laid bare to vulnerability is not the end of the story. 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